A post from: allison from" la dolce vita "
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
I was talking to my mom yesterday on our drive home from the Cape (more about that later), and I was just reflecting on how much I hate change, but how certain things have gotten easier as the years have gone by.
I used to cling to things and people - even ones I knew weren't healthy for me to be around, just because the thought of changing a dynamic of my life was really difficult for me to fathom. The littlest parts of change were (aka are) hard for me to swallow - even silly things, like deleting people who I never talk to or who annoy me off my Facebook (which I finally did, narrowing it down from 1500 to less than 600 - which was a big step in weeding people out).
It comes to a point in life though, when you realize that there are certain people that weigh you down - whether it's intentionally or unintentionally, I really believe that there are people that are just not healthy to play such a vital role in your life. Some people bring about negativity to you - maybe by their actions, or maybe by your own (like the person whose Facebook page you go on merely to criticize - not healthy and something you can change).
My mom and I were reflecting on my high school days, and talking about a certain girl that I used to be BEST friends with. As in, stayed with her for two weeks while my parents went to Europe, she came on vacations with me, we did everything together. At school, if people were looking for me, they would ask her where I was - we were as close as could be.
It wasn't that we didn't have fun together - we had so much fun together. But as time went on, she started on a really self destructive path - and while we all had shit that we were working through in high school, she seemed to have the mentality that if she was going down, everyone had to go down with her.
It got to the point where I just couldn't pretend it wasn't happening anymore - it was a downward spiral that I just couldn't keep up with or condone anymore. I made a clean break (actually, not so clean - it was messy and horrible), but I moved on. I grew from it.
As I sat in the car with my mom yesterday, I said to her, "Isn't it so weird that this person was once probably the most important person in my life - she was my backbone, and the person I'd constantly go to for advice and now she's a complete stranger to me."
My mom turned to me and said, "But you can't think about that - instead, think of how much you've grown, and all the relationships that you've maintained even through that growth, the ones that really, truly mean something to you."
And she's right.
Last week really reminded me how truly, truly blessed I am to have such positive friendships in my life. While this past year has been one of the most difficult and turbulent of my entire life, I've had people who have stuck by me through the laughs and the tears, the nights out and quiet nights just catching up at Starbucks (naturally) - I really am blessed beyond belief that I have two of the best friends in the world, and a number of really, really good friends.