22 March 2012

Waiting for a Sign

"I need a sign." I’ve yelled it. Prayed it. Whispered it into the night sky hoping for a star to shoot across my plane of vision. The hope would be put out into wild universe with a wish for a speedy return. And then I would wait. Patiently. Or not so much. I would wait for something, anything to show up and let me know that I was on the right path.

There have been times like those, many in fact, where my hopes were dashed. Where no sign that I could see showed up. There were no flashing arrows, burning bushes, or other miracles of God to let me know. I would fall into desperation. Asking louder. Angrier. Action would slow as I would get caught up in the feeling that I had been dropped off inside a maze without a map. Desperation would rear its head. Loneliness would surface. All because the mystical, mysterious sign did not show up right when I begged for it.

The thing that I didn’t get was that my yearning for a sign was the sign. The ache was divine. Present within me so that I could know the absolute importance of whatever it was I seeking. It is the impetus to keep moving forward. The fact that there was anything I wanted bad enough to ask for the sign, was the Universe yelling “YES!”. It is the big bright neon letters. It’s not comfortable. But it is real. And the answer to my question.

I didn’t need to know that everything was going to be alright. Because it already was. The opportunity for change was, is and will always be present. My job is to know that every choice can be the right choice if we make it so. I had to get to the making.

So much energy goes into looking. The seeking. The wanting for a clear sign to show up. It’s easy to forget that action begets creation. That the thing we are wanting to know, can only be known if we get moving. Keep moving.

The signs, the external ones, came. They always do. But they come well into the journey. They match the action. Once I get rocking. Once I take the very first or next or last step...the sign shows up. Validation happens. The shooting star appears at the right moment, letting me know that great things are on the horizon, if I just keep going in the direction of my desire

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